Who's Leading You?

Before you ask who you're leading, ask who is leading you.

“Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit?” Luke 6:39 Leadership.

Everybody wants the title.

The position.

The influence.

The microphone.

The seat at the table.

The respect.

The recognition.

But here’s the question we need to ask before any of that.

Who’s leading you?

Because you can’t lead anybody somewhere you aren’t willing to go yourself.

You can’t give somebody something you refuse to live.

And you sure can’t expect somebody to follow you into territory you’ve never been willing to walk through.

Leadership isn’t first about a title.

It’s about a heart posture.

It’s about surrender.

It’s about character.

It’s about having the humility to follow before you ever expect anybody else to follow you.

CAN THE BLIND LEAD THE BLIND?

Jesus asked the question for a reason.

If I’m blind to something in my own life, how am I supposed to lead somebody else through it?

If I don’t know how to control my own anger, how am I going to teach somebody else how to handle theirs?

If I can’t manage my own money, how am I going to teach somebody else financial discipline?

If I can’t control my own habits, how am I going to challenge somebody else’s?

If I don’t know how to receive correction, how am I going to teach humility?

And here’s one that gets real close to home.

If my marriage is falling apart because I’m not willing to be the husband I need to be, I probably shouldn’t be standing in front of another man telling him how to lead his marriage.

That’s not condemnation.

That’s integrity.

I’m not saying a man has to have a perfect marriage before he can encourage somebody.

Nobody has a perfect marriage.

But there needs to be evidence that he’s actually fighting for it.

That he’s doing the work.

That he’s willing to own his stuff.

That he’s learning how to communicate.

That he’s learning how to love.

That he’s willing to humble himself.

That he’s willing to change.

Because there is a difference between having information and having transformation.

You can know all the right words and still be completely unwilling to live them.

DON’T LEAD FROM THE MOUTH

Anybody can talk.

Anybody can quote Scripture.

Anybody can give advice.

Anybody can sound deep.

Anybody can tell another man what he should be doing.

But eventually somebody is going to look past your words and look at your life.

Does this actually work?

Does it work in your marriage?

Does it work in your family?

Does it work when you’re angry?

Does it work when you’re under pressure?

Does it work when nobody is watching?

Does it work when you’re losing?

Does it work when you’re disappointed?

Does it work when your pride gets punched in the mouth?

That’s where leadership becomes real.

Because people don’t just need to hear what you know.

They need to see what you carry.

YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE FIRE

There are things you cannot teach from a textbook.

You have to walk through some fire.

You have to get knocked down.

You have to have your pride confronted.

You have to have your character tested.

You have to have God expose things in you that you didn’t even realize were there.

You have to walk through disappointment.

You have to learn how to forgive.

You have to learn how to apologize.

You have to learn how to stay when walking away would be easier.

You have to learn how to walk away when staying is destroying you.

You have to learn discipline.

You have to learn patience.

You have to learn humility.

You have to get refined.

Because sometimes the very thing that makes you capable of helping somebody else is the thing you had to suffer through yourself.

You went through the smoke and fire, and God didn’t let it destroy you. He used it to refine you.

Now you can walk beside somebody else who’s standing in their own smoke.

Not from a pedestal.

From experience.

You can say,

“I know what this feels like.”

“I’ve been there.”

“I’ve messed this up too.”

“I know what it costs.”

“I know what it takes to get back up.”

That’s different.

That’s influence.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ADVICE AND AUTHORITY

Authority isn’t always about position.

Sometimes authority comes from credibility.

A man can tell me something and I can hear his words.

But another man can tell me the exact same thing and I can feel the weight behind it because I know his life.

I know he’s walked it.

I know he’s been tested.

I know he’s had opportunities to quit.

I know he’s had to humble himself.

I know he’s had to rebuild.

I know he’s not pretending.

That’s the kind of man I can respect.

That’s the kind of man I can listen to.

That’s the kind of man who can influence me.

Not because he’s perfect.

Because he’s real.

LEADERSHIP STARTS WITH SELF LEADERSHIP

Before I lead my wife, I have to learn how to lead myself.

Before I lead my children, I have to learn how to lead myself.

Before I lead another man, I have to learn how to lead myself.

Can I keep my word?

Can I control my mouth?

Can I control my temper?

Can I stay disciplined when nobody is watching?

Can I handle correction?

Can I admit when I’m wrong?

Can I apologize without adding a thousand excuses?

Can I keep going when I don’t feel motivated?

Can I put my ego down?

Can I serve?

Can I follow God when His direction isn’t convenient?

Because if I can’t lead myself, then giving me authority over somebody else doesn’t make me a leader.

It makes me a bigger problem.

THE PERSONAL GRIND

This is where I have to bring it back to myself.

Because I don’t want to become the guy who talks about leadership while avoiding the areas where God is trying to lead me.

I’m still growing.

I’m still getting refined.

There are things I have learned through victories.

There are things I’ve learned through mistakes.

And there are things I’ve learned because life put me through the smoke and fire.

Some lessons were expensive.

Some were humbling.

Some forced me to look in the mirror.

Some showed me where I was strong.

Others showed me where I wasn’t nearly as strong as I thought I was.

And I’m learning to appreciate both.

Because the goal isn’t to come out of the fire saying,

“Look how strong I am.”

It’s to come out saying,

“Look what God taught me.”

That’s a completely different heart.

PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE IT

If I say I’m a man of integrity, it should show.

If I say I’m a man of faith, it should show.

If I say marriage matters, it should show in how I love my wife.

If I say family matters, it should show in how I treat my family.

If I say discipline matters, it should show in my habits.

If I say humility matters, it should show when I’m corrected.

If I say Jesus is leading me, it should show in the way I live.

Because eventually, words run out.

Your life keeps talking.

And sometimes your life is preaching a completely different sermon than your mouth.

That’s why leadership requires constant heart work.

LEAD FROM BESIDE THEM

The best leaders don’t need to constantly remind everybody that they’re leaders.

They walk with people.

They listen.

They challenge.

They encourage.

They correct when necessary.

They get dirty.

They serve.

They don’t stand ten feet above somebody yelling instructions.

They get down in the trenches.

That’s what makes somebody worth following.

When a man is struggling, he doesn’t need somebody standing over him saying,

“Here’s what you’re doing wrong.”

Sometimes he needs somebody beside him saying,

“Come on. I’ve been in this fire too. Let’s walk through it together.”

That’s leadership.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT

Let’s make this clear.

You don’t need a perfect life before God can use you.

You don’t need a perfect marriage.

You don’t need a perfect family.

You don’t need a perfect past.

You don’t need to have every answer.

But you do need humility.

You need honesty.

You need growth.

You need accountability.

And you need enough integrity to know the difference between leading someone and pretending to be an expert.

Sometimes leadership looks like saying,

“I don’t know, but I’ll walk with you while we figure it out.”

That’s strength too.

THE TEST

Take away the title.

Take away the platform.

Take away the microphone.

Take away the followers.

Take away the applause.

Take away the position.

What’s left?

Your character.

That’s the test.

Because when nobody is watching, that’s who you really are.

And when people are watching, that’s who you’re teaching them to become.

So I want my life to carry enough weight that when I speak, people don’t just hear words.

They see evidence.

They see scars.

They see growth.

They see humility.

They see somebody who has been through some things and didn’t waste the lessons.